I took a closer look at my laundry detergent today.  I came across it at the store and it had such a bright, pretty package – boasting about how bright my clothes would be – 2x brighter to be specific!  I thought, “Yes, that’s what I want.  Bright clothes!”  So I bought it.

WELL, upon closer inspection, the label says “clothes look 2x as bright in just one wash*.”   Note the asterisk next to “2x as bright.”   Always note the asterisk.

The footnote says …  “*vs. dingy.”

Vs. dingy!?   Not vs. other detergents or even vs. no detergent at all.  It just looks twice as bright as something dingy.  It looks brighter than it did before you washed it.  What??  My spit does that. I’m ashamed I fell for this.  Officially duped.

(Dan experienced a similar frustration last winter when he was reading a box of Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate that boasted “As much calcium as an 8oz glass of milk*”   “*when made with an 8oz glass of milk.”)

Also, while we’re on the topic of lame advertising:
There is a sign on the parkway by our house that says, “Twickenham Funeral Home.”  Underneath it says, “Climate control self-storage in back.”  So my question is, would they store my stuff in a morgue, or are all the bodies lined up in a storage unit?

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